just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
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Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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