Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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