It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i now understand why vodka
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize