mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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