I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I want her autograph on my taint
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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