i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
