what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize