I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
