She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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