THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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