White coat. Heels.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
