I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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