I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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