I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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