so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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