Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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