there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
