There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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