now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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