im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize