if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize