you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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