If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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