To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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