Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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