Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
