Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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