The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i out mim tonsoeep
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