nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
