she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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