after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
