nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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