I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
