Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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