In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
