i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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