I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
