Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
