I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
