WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize