I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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