with your own penis?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
