I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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