I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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