It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
