somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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