Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
