: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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