If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
