Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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