i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
