rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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