A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
