I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You can't just leave with hair like that
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
