Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
