we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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