thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
