The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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