well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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