In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
