Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
