so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
