he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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