Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
