Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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