OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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