this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
