I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
