dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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