I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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